I have been there and I know the feelings... I have come to the conclusion... that a lot of the tears that are shed at this celebratory time.... are not as much tears of sadness as they are tears of celebration..... Celebrating that all those long nights and worrisome events and sometimes immature efforts paid off in bringing up two beautiful. wonderful gifts of God... Cry..... But also smile..... Job well done Betsy and Jim❤
All true, Barry. We applaud their successes and occasionally marvel that we didn't somehow ruin them completely. You and Judi certainly have plenty to celebrate yourselves! Thank you.
I’m one of the lucky moms, too. I managed to raise three independent, productive adults despite circumstances that could have made it go the other way.
One of my three lives out of state with his family and the goodbyes are hard. But then I remind myself of how lucky I am that everyone is healthy and well, so I say, “See ya next time!”
Looking back at what might have been has a way of making what is that much sweeter, doesn't it. Good for you! Well done!
Parting when it will be half a year or more before the next visit causes a deep ache, but you are right that there is a balancing gratitude for all that is good and right. Thank you for this lovely comment.
What a great job you and Jim did to raise two happy healthy and independent young women. We don’t have the sadness you experience when our kids and grandkids leave as they’re not that far away. Very grateful for the visit and their safe return home. Hugs.
Thank you, Suzanne. One truth about living far apart is that visits typically last a week or two, which has a special rhythm all its own. We cherish that concentrated time together. Grateful for your kind words.
Thanks, Teresa. There were some bumpy bits with this departure that made it more stressful than usual, which means I am a bit more depleted than usual. But also so full of all the recent joy. 🥲
In my family, I was the one to pack up and go. I was always going on an adventure somewhere -- to college half way across the country, to a retreat center up in the mountains with no phone service (in the days before cell service!), to a country behind the iron curtain, to another country halfway around the world, to another country/territory in the midst of violence. And, my poor mother! She was worried, but I reminded her that she helped to create this child who wanted to explore and learn and help others, but who was always connected to home (which was were she was). Still true today, all these years later....
Kimmy, I absolutely love this perspective! Thank you for reminding me what it feels like from the other side of the equation. I see similar adventurousness in my girls, and had a strain of it myself when I was their age. So did my mom! Sounds like you've lived quite the life and that you and your mom have found a way to balance the coming and going. Just wonderful.
Oh my, yes...the heart is full and aching with love. Did we sit enough? Did we talk/ listen enough? Did we hug enough? When I said my good byes at the airport in Honolulu, my 41 year old son stepped up 4 times for one more hug. My 3 year old grandson admonished his Dada on the ride home for "making " Gramma cry. My son had to explain tears of love which even now threaten to overflow. These are the times of the most intense homesickness for us...immediately following a visit.
What a tender story, Susan, and such a good opportunity for your little grandson to learn that love takes many shapes. Your last line here is exactly right. I always wait until I'm a bit less raw to strip the beds and clean the spaces they've occupied. The emptiness is huge. Thank you for understanding and sharing in the experience with me.
"I’m remembering, once again, what it feels like when your heart splits open and stars, bright-shining and brilliant, spill out across the land." - this right here - I've printed and hung it to serve as my reminder. thank you.
You and your "birds" are in various stages of fledging and flying, Roe, so I know you get the star spilling. Thank you for reading and for the validation.
I even feel like this after family get-togethers or Christmas. The door closes and feel that awful silence that ensues as you gather up napkins and glasses. Understand completely and also, feel weepy now lol
Just a stunningly lovely meditation on comings and goings and the bittersweetness of (especially) the goings. And that last line, about your heart splitting open and the bright stars spilling out across the land? Beautiful.
This is so beautiful. Never stop crying. There's so much love in those tears. It's good to be back. I'll tell you the story of the first time I tried to leave home (and by that I mean my father), when I was 24. Airports and tears. The handkerchief he took out of his back pocket of his gray flannel slacks, and handed to me so I could blow my nose, at the gate. I took it with me for the flight. It was a soggy mess and so was I.
I still have that beautiful monogrammed hankie, 41 years later. Love. xo
Aww, Nan, thank you. And what a sweet, tender scene you describe here. I can see the whole thing vividly, partly because I have acted out many parts of it myself (except the monogrammed hankie -- amazing).
There's no real likelihood I'll stop crying. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time. Try as I might to reserve them for times when they are less likely to be seen by those who might not understand, I never succeed. I like to think that means I'm nourishing something growing nearby!
No, it's not. But social expectations are a hard thing to shake off. Also, though, I've been crying in unsanctioned situations my whole life. So, I guess I was born to blow up the paradigm.
Channeling Jane Austen there, and perhaps with the same touch of satire. Be that as it may, I'm honored and delighted that my kids do seem to enjoy spending time here on occasion. Tears of joy, yes!
I have been there and I know the feelings... I have come to the conclusion... that a lot of the tears that are shed at this celebratory time.... are not as much tears of sadness as they are tears of celebration..... Celebrating that all those long nights and worrisome events and sometimes immature efforts paid off in bringing up two beautiful. wonderful gifts of God... Cry..... But also smile..... Job well done Betsy and Jim❤
All true, Barry. We applaud their successes and occasionally marvel that we didn't somehow ruin them completely. You and Judi certainly have plenty to celebrate yourselves! Thank you.
Lovely sentiment here.
I’m one of the lucky moms, too. I managed to raise three independent, productive adults despite circumstances that could have made it go the other way.
One of my three lives out of state with his family and the goodbyes are hard. But then I remind myself of how lucky I am that everyone is healthy and well, so I say, “See ya next time!”
Looking back at what might have been has a way of making what is that much sweeter, doesn't it. Good for you! Well done!
Parting when it will be half a year or more before the next visit causes a deep ache, but you are right that there is a balancing gratitude for all that is good and right. Thank you for this lovely comment.
What a great job you and Jim did to raise two happy healthy and independent young women. We don’t have the sadness you experience when our kids and grandkids leave as they’re not that far away. Very grateful for the visit and their safe return home. Hugs.
Thank you, Suzanne. One truth about living far apart is that visits typically last a week or two, which has a special rhythm all its own. We cherish that concentrated time together. Grateful for your kind words.
Thinking of you as you navigate this emotional journey. All best to everyone involved.
Thanks, Teresa. There were some bumpy bits with this departure that made it more stressful than usual, which means I am a bit more depleted than usual. But also so full of all the recent joy. 🥲
Can’t wait to hear more!
In my family, I was the one to pack up and go. I was always going on an adventure somewhere -- to college half way across the country, to a retreat center up in the mountains with no phone service (in the days before cell service!), to a country behind the iron curtain, to another country halfway around the world, to another country/territory in the midst of violence. And, my poor mother! She was worried, but I reminded her that she helped to create this child who wanted to explore and learn and help others, but who was always connected to home (which was were she was). Still true today, all these years later....
Kimmy, I absolutely love this perspective! Thank you for reminding me what it feels like from the other side of the equation. I see similar adventurousness in my girls, and had a strain of it myself when I was their age. So did my mom! Sounds like you've lived quite the life and that you and your mom have found a way to balance the coming and going. Just wonderful.
Oh my, yes...the heart is full and aching with love. Did we sit enough? Did we talk/ listen enough? Did we hug enough? When I said my good byes at the airport in Honolulu, my 41 year old son stepped up 4 times for one more hug. My 3 year old grandson admonished his Dada on the ride home for "making " Gramma cry. My son had to explain tears of love which even now threaten to overflow. These are the times of the most intense homesickness for us...immediately following a visit.
What a tender story, Susan, and such a good opportunity for your little grandson to learn that love takes many shapes. Your last line here is exactly right. I always wait until I'm a bit less raw to strip the beds and clean the spaces they've occupied. The emptiness is huge. Thank you for understanding and sharing in the experience with me.
"I’m remembering, once again, what it feels like when your heart splits open and stars, bright-shining and brilliant, spill out across the land." - this right here - I've printed and hung it to serve as my reminder. thank you.
You and your "birds" are in various stages of fledging and flying, Roe, so I know you get the star spilling. Thank you for reading and for the validation.
Life is grand! Cry on. Good for the soul. ~J
I've never been able to hold back tears, Janice. Not sure who I'm kidding when I tell myself I will. Thank you, joyous one!
Love you to edges of the stars and enough to fill all the spaces in between, Darling Mother Dearest ❤️
Ah....thank you, hon'. I feel that love working its special magic all the time!
I even feel like this after family get-togethers or Christmas. The door closes and feel that awful silence that ensues as you gather up napkins and glasses. Understand completely and also, feel weepy now lol
I've got tissues in pretty much every room in the house, if you need me to grab one for you, Sue. It means a lot to know you understand. Thank you!
Just a stunningly lovely meditation on comings and goings and the bittersweetness of (especially) the goings. And that last line, about your heart splitting open and the bright stars spilling out across the land? Beautiful.
Grateful for you, Irena. I hadn't thought to consider it a meditation, but of course, it's exactly that.
This is so beautiful. Never stop crying. There's so much love in those tears. It's good to be back. I'll tell you the story of the first time I tried to leave home (and by that I mean my father), when I was 24. Airports and tears. The handkerchief he took out of his back pocket of his gray flannel slacks, and handed to me so I could blow my nose, at the gate. I took it with me for the flight. It was a soggy mess and so was I.
I still have that beautiful monogrammed hankie, 41 years later. Love. xo
Aww, Nan, thank you. And what a sweet, tender scene you describe here. I can see the whole thing vividly, partly because I have acted out many parts of it myself (except the monogrammed hankie -- amazing).
There's no real likelihood I'll stop crying. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time. Try as I might to reserve them for times when they are less likely to be seen by those who might not understand, I never succeed. I like to think that means I'm nourishing something growing nearby!
I think it's the most beautiful thing to access your tears, those feelings. Who cares if others don't get it. It's not about them, right?
No, it's not. But social expectations are a hard thing to shake off. Also, though, I've been crying in unsanctioned situations my whole life. So, I guess I was born to blow up the paradigm.
The nice thing is that like the seasons, kids always come back. It's a truth universally acknowledged. Usually with tears of joy...
Channeling Jane Austen there, and perhaps with the same touch of satire. Be that as it may, I'm honored and delighted that my kids do seem to enjoy spending time here on occasion. Tears of joy, yes!
Thanks , Elizabeth, I think you wrote this for my niece !
I sent it to her 🩷
Oh, sweet. I'm so pleased to know you wanted to share this with her. Thanks, Melody.
Oh to be missed like that, to be mothered like that…
This is a tender perspective, Evelyn. Thank you. 💗