15 Comments
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Janet S's avatar

You are so right about negative comments searing our brain. The scars remain forever.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I wonder, sometimes, if it's like that for everyone. There are those who give the impression of being unfazed. Perhaps they're just good actors. Thanks, Janet.

Courtney Oates's avatar

Elizabeth. Your words and that video have rendered me speechless. My from-me-to-me words today will be kind. I also need to work to remember the positives I hear. And say. Thank you for these vital reminders.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

For me, it is "forever work," but I've made incremental progress here and there. Appreciate the comment, Courtney.

Barry P Osborne's avatar

Negative words hurt me....positive words lift me...but often my favorite or most dreaded words..are words unspoken....smiles...frowns...grimaces...grunts......laughter....often make my day....or smack me down...without a single word...

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

You are right! Like "they" say, actions speak louder than words. Thanks for reading and commenting, Barry, and for always being a source of positive words for me.

roe squire's avatar

This right here: The remarks you choose to share with others, or those you direct inward at yourself are among your most influential resources.- There is so much wisdom contained in that sentence.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

While writing, I thought a lot about how many words flow between us humans with little or no regard. I'd like to hone the craft of seeing them more often as tools. Appreciate the comment, Roe, and you.

RobS's avatar

Insightful as always. Worth multiple re-reads.

CATHERINE RICHARDS's avatar

Whew. I FEEL this share in such a huge way E....decades later I still allow myself to fall into the abyss of self doubt and judgement at the memory of negative opinions liberally hurled ny others. Thank you for the validation of our efforts to speak and spread kindness as we go.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I like to think that sustained attention to speaking and spreading kindness is the healing balm we can spread over the injuries incurred from those who wield words as weapons. Hugs, my friend.

prue batten's avatar

Thank you for an insightful essay.

I remember coming home from school, a pudgy child and telling my parents, with tears, what I'd endured. In their 1950's parenting mode, they said what they thought was right: 'Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you.' Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The positive is that I became a reader and writer and learned to love words - or at least looking for the right one...

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

That 'buck up' approach encouraged by previous generations had its place at times, particularly (I imagine) when navigating such formidable circumstances as those occurring during WWII. But, it also left people with little choice but to swallow their pain rather than pass through it. And, in my experience, it always resurfaces somewhere. Thanks, Prue, for the comment.

Pamela Burdett's avatar

Thank you for this. Very timely.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Glad to know, Pam. Hugs.