43 Comments
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Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I am sharing this comment on behalf of someone who knew Steve here in my community, someone with whom I've only just become acquainted thanks to a mutual friend. The world can be quite small and quite beautiful sometimes. Thank you, Ted.

___

"My name is Ted, I met Steve when he moved to St Michaels when I was asked to be his Driver. Due to his handicap, he was unable to get his license. Over the ensuing 4 years, we spent countless hours together becoming much more than Driver-Client, we became great friends. We attended baseball games (mostly minor league because that's what he liked). We had many other adventurous trips such as decoy shows, to a restaurant in Baltimore where we met a son of a past friend if Steve's. We had weekly trips to grocery stores, libraries, cleaners, blood draws, Dr visits, lunches and to Pet Smart for Ranger. I even took Steve to the airport the day he left knowing it was the last time I would see him. But there was no question that this was what he wanted, his mind was made up. I keep his wishes in mind, but I do miss him. He was a wonderful guy!"

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May 4
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Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I'm hearing from local friends and acquaintances that there was so much here they didn't know. Given his relatively short tenure in our community and his communication challenges, I'm not all that surprised -- but I love knowing that this can be a kind of gift for him. Thanks so much for reading, Nancy.

Michael Keene's avatar

Wow. Well done, Friend. I am writing to Columbia University to suggest they award you the Pulitzer. Thank you for doing this.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

☺️ Michael, I owe you and others a debt of gratitude for helping facilitate my connections with Steve. It takes a village, right? I'm glad ours was one that could embrace Steve for a short time. He was a special person, as are you. Thank you.

MedicareMermaid's avatar

You’ve done it again. Created a gift of words, storytelling, connections. And thoughts to ponder.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thank you, Mermaid. (I love calling you that, by the way -- the whole idea of chatting with a mermaid is a boost!) I'm glad you're part of this journey with me.

Teresa O’Connor's avatar

What a life he lived. And what a wonderful story about him you told. Very moving.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thank you, Teresa. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be in connection with Steve even for a short time. He was an excellent teacher.

Jill Meyerhoff's avatar

A very tough, lovely story to share. Well done Elizabeth. Having Steve’s approval is the best

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thanks, Jill. I appreciate you being here and making time to comment. I'm not sure I would have been able to tell the same story without Steve's vote of approval. I certainly wouldn't have felt the same about it afterwards. 💗

Erica Weick's avatar

Very beautiful! Thank you for this.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thank you, Erica. I'm grateful you took the time to read and comment. Steve was a special person.

Susan Baker's avatar

How beautiful. A sunrise after dark! Both of my parents chose VCED in their mid to late 90s. Volitional cessation of eating and drinking. They were sound, vigorous of mind but battling health challenges that diminished quality of life. I cared for each of them through their last days. It was a time of great love and poignancy and the honor of my life to be with them in that final chapter. I was fortunate to have for such a long time and truly blessed to share in their last days.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Oh, wow, Susan. Both parents...! You must come from strong, clear-eyed stock, and yes--what a gift to be able to offer that kind of support. Not everyone would step into that willingly; I applaud the selflessness you showed for them. Thanks for reading Steve's story.

Switter’s World's avatar

Beautiful, Elizabeth. I decided to listen this time, instead of reading, and your voice added a richness and depth that made me feel the story of Steve’s life vividly.

In a year when I have lost much of what was precious to me, all unexpectedly, Steve’s story helped me to put things into perspective. Life is never over until, in a very real way, we decide that it is over. Steve’s life story helped me to strengthen my resolve to explore what I have not explored, to build what I have not built before, and to love what I have not yet learned to love.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

This is a remarkable comment, Switter, one I'm sure Steve would be happy to read. "To love what I have not yet learned to love..." To me, that feels like the noblest of missions.

I'm sorry for the unexpected losses in your life but glad for your resolve. Glad, too, that our paths intersect here. Thank you.

Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

An important story, beautifully told. My condolences on the loss of this person in your life and community. And also, what a gift to have such a friendship. I agree, we don't talk enough about death. I had to when I was visiting my daughter, as she is my medical decision-maker if I can't make my own decisions, and we needed to talk through my advance directive. I found myself saying something similar to Steve: I've lived a full life and had all the experiences most important to me. I welcome more, but I don't need more. That realization is a gift, too. I hope your writing opens a conversation for others.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Rita, that you and your daughter have the presence of mind to be having this conversation now is truly remarkable. So many people put it off until there's a crisis.

It has been an unexpectedly somber day. Something about putting this out into the universe made the loss that much more tangible, and Steve that much more present.

Thank you for your understanding. If this could help build a conversation bridge for someone -- well, I couldn't ask for a better outcome than that. Thank you for being here.

prue batten's avatar

What a courageous, clear-thinking and spirited man. Nothing but respect for his considered decision. Vale to an inspiring man.

I'm so glad that our state here in Australia has legalised assisted dying, as have a number of other states. It means one can die at home and amongst friends and family if one chooses.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

In approaching this piece, I did a deeper exploration of medically assisted dying than ended up on the page. Probably there's a follow-on essay to be written.

I'm glad to know Tasmania has created a legal framework and that it can be used at home. Suffice to say that in most places, the process is not as straightforward as I previously thought.

Thank you for seeing Steve as he truly was, Prue.

Linda Thompson's avatar

Your friend sounds like he was an amazing person. There are two brave people in this story - Robert Blizzard for all the big decisions he made, and you for eloquently sharing his story.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thank you, Linda. I appreciate your kind words. Hard as it was to get this story down in a way that I hoped served Steve well, I give him all the credit for bravery, starting with his willingness to let me try. I am so grateful to know you saw that in him.

Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne's avatar

His, a way to live

fully and consistently

with a way to die.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I have the feeling he would love this, Marisol. Thank you for sharing your talents on his behalf.

Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne's avatar

Your story/eulogy sensitively serves to raise awareness... thank you. Have been learning via serving on an advisory board for End of Life Choices in California, one of the 12 states in the USA that offers the Medical Aid in Dying option. Unfortunately, ignorance and judgment add unnecessary suffering...

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Yes — and isn’t that the case for so many topics? I’m glad to know about your service on that board, Marisol and would be interested to know more about what brought you there and what you’re learning.

Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

I too, connected with Steve through Michael Keene and am so glad that I did. I learned much more than I knew here, Elizabeth, thank you. Perhaps there are no small decisions. An articulate tribute, and well deserved. I sent him a note on the 29th, wishing him peace. ~J

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I'm glad you were in touch with him, Janice. I want to go on believing that some decisions are, in fact, small. Deciding things has never been my strong suit. But I get where you're going there. As evidenced anytime a writer or film maker deals with time travel, one tiny shift can change the outcome of everything!

I was honored to write the story and pleased that he was able to read and agree to it before he left us. Feel free to share it with others who may have crossed paths with him.

Janice Anne Wheeler's avatar

Will do. Appreciate you. J

Irena Smith's avatar

What a beautiful, deeply touching tribute to a beautiful man. Thank you.

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thank you for taking time with this one, Irena. There is more to explore on the subject of assisted dying, but there was so much to Steve's story that it felt impossible to handle both at once. I'm grateful for the comment.

Eileen Dougharty's avatar

It took me a few days to find the right time to listen to this, and wow, what a story. Thank you for sharing Steve with us…it sounds like he packed a lot of life into his 71 years. I love that he exercised his agency to go out as he wished. This is beautiful and crucial work, honoring those who touch our hearts. You are such a force for documenting beauty in this world 🌎 ❤️

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I got glimpses of who Steve was before the stroke and sense that his strong-will might've been interpreted a bit differently then. But isn't that often the case? The parts of us that can come in hot are the same parts that keep us from collapsing when times are hard.

So appreciative of the last two lines here, Eileen. I sometimes think it's harder for people to see themselves in this kind of writing, but I hope the beauty is universal. Thank you, lovely lady.