Thank you, Nancy. Thank you—for trusting me enough to click and read. That's truly an honor, and I promise not to stay in this zone for weeks on end. I love what you said about words being good or bad but not both, and who knows, maybe our mothers are swapping notes right about now.
As for the hummingbirds, being determined to stay in their universe rather focused on what's happening in ours is the whole point. I'm grateful to know we're aligned there.
Chuckle, chuckle. Yep I read it. Right on bed time. 11:30pm. But I haven’t brushed my teeth yet and was just checking my emails before getting up to do them and stumbled across this.
Language is an intriguing thing. I do tend to understate. I’d rather leave the excess for excessive things, but occasionally something stronger is needed. I’ll keep an eye on my language for a few days if I think about it and we’ll see how things go. But I am the middle child of five and I think we just learn to be peacemakers. Until someone goes too far, then there’ll be a sharp rebuke even if not a swear word. Those are left for true anger. (Your fucked up regime for example. Sigh…)
Anyway, sending hugs. Take care my dear. This too shall pass.
Aw, Beth -- what a boost to think you held off on your bedtime routine long enough to read through this 'out on a limb' essay. Like you, I'm intrigued by language, evidenced by this and previous explorations, and feel I could spend a whole second round of education trying to understand it more thoroughly. I appreciate that you reserve harsh words like this for true anger, and the current U.S. regime is a welcome target in my view.
Thank you for your steadfastness as a Chicken Scratch reader and commenter. I'm grateful.
By the way, remind me what part of Australia you're in. Daughter is currently visiting a rainy Perth for the first time. :)
I’m over East, your daughter is in the West, a lovely (albeit remote) part of the country. I hope she has a wonderful time. They’re getting rain eh? Nice to know. It gets SO dry over that way. Hugs and best wishes. 🤗🤗
Yup, I read it immediately. And truth be told, it was because of the F in the title AND because it was you who put it there — which was so unexpected…. A lot to think about here. I hate that this word is so commonly used because for me, it is still to be reserved for the truly most amazing moments — good or bad and the honest feelings it conveys. Twenty years ago, I was irritated by overuse of the word “awesome” for everything… oceans, mountains, polar bears, hummingbirds are awe-inspiring; if your your chocolate milkshake inspires awe, well…
Well, gosh. What an honor! 😅 I'm glad it felt unexpected, Margaret. Though anyone who spends time here or with me in person knows I'm no stranger to a touch of color in my language, I don't expect to up the frequency just to make a point. We are on similar pages in wanting to be sure the strength of certain words is there when we need it. Thanks for chiming in!
Of course, I read it... You already know that I worked with junior, middle and senior highs for 30 years.... I'm not sure there's a profane word or a dirty joke that I haven't heard or spoken myself.... I can't remember using the F-word that often and mostly in the presence of me and God....as we were spiritually discerning why some kids were running around camp at 2 o'clock in the morning.... In retirement I have discovered that sometimes it shows up at an unexpected moment during a sporting event.... Or when you have fallen and discovered that you didn't break a limb.... I honestly don't know what is appropriate because there are so many slang words that have been determined to be evil.... But I'm a sinner.... I came from a survival mode middle class small town family in the 50s and 60s.... where not only did you have to act brave ...you had to talk brave... The "F" word was not a word that I used then, but some of my other words have been transferred over to this word every now and then.... I know, it's not my favorite word, but every now and then when this "word" comes out ...God realizes that I'm another one of his imperfect children.... And be it so sacrilegious, I think I sometimes hear a chuckle from Heaven..
Not sure how you could spend as much time with teens as you did, Barry, and be too hung up on "bad" language (or errant behavior, for that matter). I feel like profanity is an easy mark and therefore easy to criticize, but often there are much bigger fish to fry. We are all imperfect! And, I'm 100% on board with the notion that a rogue word or two, if not intended to harm another, is a likely a source of humor for whatever or whoever is keeping score up there. I'd also say you've more than earned the occasional expletive!
Ha! I'm right there with you on that! Talk about an expression that's been (as my dad would've said) rode hard and put up wet. Thanks for letting me know.
OMG, Elizabeth, this made me laugh so hard. Okay, I admit I almost didn't read this because, you know, that title... And then to find that I'm included as the other side of your argument! I'm not angry, I'm kind of flattered.
And feeling a bit lonely here. But I'm used to that.
Yes, it's a word I cringe over, even now with all of its insane overuse, and I'll put up with it but never get comfortable with having to be exposed to it. And I can safely say I'll never say it out loud or in print.
I'm kind of proud of that, going against the universal grain and all. I suppose it's my age (ancient) and the fact that millions of us went for generations without once finding the need to use it, but I've given up trying to explain just what that one word (okay, two words--the C word, too) does to me. (Except for that one blog where I wrote about it, but don't want to hijack your essay with a link.)
It's just visceral. I've stopped having to clench my teeth, which was getting hard on my jaw, but I'm still eye-rolling. 🙄
I'm laughing thinking of you laughing, Mona, and am glad I was able to capture the essence of your principles in a way that felt flattering. If you read through the comments, you'll see that you have quite a few standards-companions here. And you wouldn't be you if you weren't taking stands that challenge the norm.
Yes, that's the one. I did link it to my thoughts on how much I loved Ted Lasso and even ended up giving Roy Kent a pass, but I can't be the only one who's noticed the escalation of that one word since the devil Trump moved back into the White House. I get it. I really do. But I still keep hoping that some day the fad will be over and some other word in our vast vocabularies will take over.
My mom would agree with your mom one hundred percent. But I remember another friend in the music industry explaining to me patiently that the word can effectively be used as a noun, verb and adjective. And in some European countries folks use it much more commonly in speech than we do. Words definitely have the power to affect us strongly—ESPECIALLY this one. PS Love the family photos.
Thanks, Teresa. And you make an excellent point about how certain cultures are less bothered by certain words. During my daughter's time in Australia, I've heard that modeled firsthand. So, it's both generational and cultural—and powerful, depending on how we choose to use or abuse it.
Appreciate the call out for the family photo. And I have to tell you that I just taught myself how to access the em dash on my keyboard because of the way yours was formatted up there. Wow! 🤩
Thanks, Suzanne. I'm really grateful for your steady support here. Can't disagree that my frustration with those causing so much unnecessary, politically motivated anguish is the impetus for some of my swearing. Also noting that there's been some normalizing of really vulgar words, but I think that was happening well before this regime.
About 20 years ago, I knew a person who used the f-word the way others use "like" or "you know." A typical sentence: "So I was fuckin taking out the fuckin trash when a fuckin bird fuckin pooped on my fuckin head." I am not exaggerating. He was the sweetest man, almost always smiling, and his mother had been a second grade teacher. It was before the f-word was as ubiquitous as it is now, and our friendship forever changed my relationship to the word.
I hate all the books that have put the word in their titles; it is definitely a signal, and what it says to me is that the book isn't for me. And still, I do use the word sometimes in my own writing. (Just recently, I think.) I swear all the time when talking with friends (and therapists). I have one child who does not hesitate to use profanity around me, and another who apologizes every time such a word slips out. (They swear all the time with friends, but feel it is disrespectful to swear around me.) I'm fine with both approaches. I'm especially fine with women swearing, as I'm opposed to limitations on what we say and how we say it.
I appreciate (as always) your nuanced deep-dive into what it all means, and the threads you connect. I will think of you and your hummingbird the next time I'm refreshing the water in my bird bath for the local squirrels. I love to watch them drinking from it. I'll open any essay from you, no matter what words are in the title, because I know you choose all of your words so thoughtfully and you arrange them so meaningfully.
Oh, this comment made my day, truly. Your friend with the fuckin trash is the perfect illustration of what happens when a word loses all its freight and becomes pure filler—affectionate, harmless, and utterly meaningless as emphasis. And yet, as you say, he was the sweetest man, which maybe tells us something about the word's bark being worse than its bite when it's not aimed at anyone.
I love that you have one child who apologizes and one who doesn't. That's basically the whole essay in a family portrait.
And the squirrels at the bird bath. Exactly that. We can point our attention there. Thank you, Rita.
Well - I am not as old as your parents and am probably contemporaneous with you (more or less). I cannot bring myself to use fuck and have never once felt the need to do so. If I see it used in an article, as is more and more then case, I don't stop reading but I question the thinking of the writer a little more closely than I might otherwise do. You suggest "Look at this fucking hummingbird!" as a valid use of the word - it doesn't make me clutch my pearls but I fail to see its value in that example - what is wrong with amazing, beautiful, spectacular etc?
Surprisingly, maybe, the point was never really the word. It was making sure we're aiming our attention at the right things, including the beautiful ones that don't usually come with headlines. Amazing, beautiful, and spectacular are 100% fine, too!
Thank you for being willing to walk alongside, even when the road got a little unconventional. It means more than you know
Immediately. I read it immediately. I even interrupted my flow while writing my own column for tomorrow. I read for the inspiration. And the honesty.
I remember an early essay by Dave Barry where he averred that every joke is funnier if it has the word "weasel" in it. It works, for a while. Your example is more f-ing durable.
But I'll never forget my typically very proper spouse, showing me her fancy socks, bright blue, which read "Carpe the Fuck out of this Diem." Still makes me smile.
Stew, you interrupted your own column for me? I'm choosing to take that as the highest possible compliment and moving on before you change your mind. Ha!
The Dave Barry weasel theory is perfect (I love him so much) and I wish I'd thought to work it in. Though you're right that weasel has a shorter shelf life. Something about the hard consonants.
And those socks. Those are exactly what this essay was written for, and for projects like Carpe Diem. :)
Hahaha. As you well know, I say it all the time. It's the word that puts something in the highest level of consideration. When I'm in awe: This is so fucking beautiful. When I'm angry: Fuck those fuckers! If there's a more extreme word, I'd like to know it. My feelings are big. It fits. (P.s. I think it's perceived as authenticity because most people know they'll be judged for it. And then they say it anyway. So they MUST mean it. But I have known serial liars who swore a lot, so I'm pretty dubious about the "honesty" part.)
Wendy, 'Fuck those fuckers!' should be the bumper sticker and the t-shirt. Know any artists who could make that happen? 😉
Your footnote on the honesty research is fair; serial liars with a colorful vocabulary are a real data point the academics probably undercounted. The perception of honesty and actual honesty are two very different things.
Thank you for weighing in with your good humor and smarts.
I remember people saying (still saying) that Trump “tells it like it is.” They are definitely conflating perception (his willingness to be offensive) with actual honesty. And haha. I should get on some “fuck those fuckers” art. (It makes me laugh.) And ditto, E. ❤️
Many words seem to hold more meaning than fuck, since it is now so often used in ways that don't matter much. I prefer a word that truly has a feel about it which changes, doesn't let people off the hook for simply putting it in to show they are 'hip'
Jill, yes. Absolutely yes. Full to overflowing and then some. And you've put your finger on exactly what bothers me about the self-help shelf. It's not the word itself, it's using it as a shortcut to seem relatable without doing the harder work of actually saying something true. The word should earn its place or stay home.
I'll take your 'full to overflowing' over most of what's on those book covers any day.
I’m gonna read it anyway, but now I’m laughing. Thanks for the extra bonus! 🤣
(I wrote this when I saw your post link on the Notes wall, not realizing that my comment would end up down here in the post comments section. I’m still planning to read your essay, Elizabeth!)
Don, thank you for the restack; I don't take it lightly. And now that you've made it all the way down here to the comments, I hope the essay delivered on what the title promised you. Laughing is a perfectly acceptable place to start. 😅
Of course I read it. Amused. In your voice(written) both contemplative and thoughtful, curious. There are many more words uttered and implied that are more offensive to me, especially uttered so easily by those in this administration, those words which demean and tear down others...referencing differences in gender, race,identity,religious beliefs. Your obviating "branding" in language choices is so interesting as I hear words uttered so easily and publicly that would never have been so casually...grrr! For me, there is a time and place for F***! My pre-teen grandsons know this...what about the adults?
Susan, 'what about the adults' is the question of the moment, isn't it? There's a whole category of language far more corrosive than a well-placed expletive, words designed to diminish and divide, that have become casual and public in ways that would have been unthinkable just a short time ago. Your pre-teen grandsons apparently have better judgment than a fair number of people currently running things.
And 'unprecedented.' Yes. Retired. Done. If I never hear it again it will be too soon.
Don, you are nothing if not thorough. I so appreciate that about you. That exchange between you and your wife might be the most perfect illustration of everything I was trying to say. Tenderness and beauty, at full volume. I hope you never stop saying it to each other. (Google says "The Wolf of Wall Street"?)
Also, never once skimming is the review I'd put on my tombstone, if I had one. ::grin::
My wife of 27 years and I were married after knowing each other seven months. On the first day of our honeymoon she looked at me over a half empty wineglass and said, "we're fucking married!"
John, that is one of the most romantic sentences I have ever read, and I mean that without a single asterisk. Perfect way to shine a light on something amazing! Thanks for reading and sharing this smile-worthy comment.
Thank you, Nancy. Thank you—for trusting me enough to click and read. That's truly an honor, and I promise not to stay in this zone for weeks on end. I love what you said about words being good or bad but not both, and who knows, maybe our mothers are swapping notes right about now.
As for the hummingbirds, being determined to stay in their universe rather focused on what's happening in ours is the whole point. I'm grateful to know we're aligned there.
Chuckle, chuckle. Yep I read it. Right on bed time. 11:30pm. But I haven’t brushed my teeth yet and was just checking my emails before getting up to do them and stumbled across this.
Language is an intriguing thing. I do tend to understate. I’d rather leave the excess for excessive things, but occasionally something stronger is needed. I’ll keep an eye on my language for a few days if I think about it and we’ll see how things go. But I am the middle child of five and I think we just learn to be peacemakers. Until someone goes too far, then there’ll be a sharp rebuke even if not a swear word. Those are left for true anger. (Your fucked up regime for example. Sigh…)
Anyway, sending hugs. Take care my dear. This too shall pass.
Aw, Beth -- what a boost to think you held off on your bedtime routine long enough to read through this 'out on a limb' essay. Like you, I'm intrigued by language, evidenced by this and previous explorations, and feel I could spend a whole second round of education trying to understand it more thoroughly. I appreciate that you reserve harsh words like this for true anger, and the current U.S. regime is a welcome target in my view.
Thank you for your steadfastness as a Chicken Scratch reader and commenter. I'm grateful.
By the way, remind me what part of Australia you're in. Daughter is currently visiting a rainy Perth for the first time. :)
I’m over East, your daughter is in the West, a lovely (albeit remote) part of the country. I hope she has a wonderful time. They’re getting rain eh? Nice to know. It gets SO dry over that way. Hugs and best wishes. 🤗🤗
Yup, I read it immediately. And truth be told, it was because of the F in the title AND because it was you who put it there — which was so unexpected…. A lot to think about here. I hate that this word is so commonly used because for me, it is still to be reserved for the truly most amazing moments — good or bad and the honest feelings it conveys. Twenty years ago, I was irritated by overuse of the word “awesome” for everything… oceans, mountains, polar bears, hummingbirds are awe-inspiring; if your your chocolate milkshake inspires awe, well…
Well, gosh. What an honor! 😅 I'm glad it felt unexpected, Margaret. Though anyone who spends time here or with me in person knows I'm no stranger to a touch of color in my language, I don't expect to up the frequency just to make a point. We are on similar pages in wanting to be sure the strength of certain words is there when we need it. Thanks for chiming in!
Of course, I read it... You already know that I worked with junior, middle and senior highs for 30 years.... I'm not sure there's a profane word or a dirty joke that I haven't heard or spoken myself.... I can't remember using the F-word that often and mostly in the presence of me and God....as we were spiritually discerning why some kids were running around camp at 2 o'clock in the morning.... In retirement I have discovered that sometimes it shows up at an unexpected moment during a sporting event.... Or when you have fallen and discovered that you didn't break a limb.... I honestly don't know what is appropriate because there are so many slang words that have been determined to be evil.... But I'm a sinner.... I came from a survival mode middle class small town family in the 50s and 60s.... where not only did you have to act brave ...you had to talk brave... The "F" word was not a word that I used then, but some of my other words have been transferred over to this word every now and then.... I know, it's not my favorite word, but every now and then when this "word" comes out ...God realizes that I'm another one of his imperfect children.... And be it so sacrilegious, I think I sometimes hear a chuckle from Heaven..
Not sure how you could spend as much time with teens as you did, Barry, and be too hung up on "bad" language (or errant behavior, for that matter). I feel like profanity is an easy mark and therefore easy to criticize, but often there are much bigger fish to fry. We are all imperfect! And, I'm 100% on board with the notion that a rogue word or two, if not intended to harm another, is a likely a source of humor for whatever or whoever is keeping score up there. I'd also say you've more than earned the occasional expletive!
Yes, I read it.
I ‘d be happy to erase “have a blessed day” from the vernacular.
Ha! I'm right there with you on that! Talk about an expression that's been (as my dad would've said) rode hard and put up wet. Thanks for letting me know.
Today’s essay has been percolating since I read it. Keep ‘em comin!
OMG, Elizabeth, this made me laugh so hard. Okay, I admit I almost didn't read this because, you know, that title... And then to find that I'm included as the other side of your argument! I'm not angry, I'm kind of flattered.
And feeling a bit lonely here. But I'm used to that.
Yes, it's a word I cringe over, even now with all of its insane overuse, and I'll put up with it but never get comfortable with having to be exposed to it. And I can safely say I'll never say it out loud or in print.
I'm kind of proud of that, going against the universal grain and all. I suppose it's my age (ancient) and the fact that millions of us went for generations without once finding the need to use it, but I've given up trying to explain just what that one word (okay, two words--the C word, too) does to me. (Except for that one blog where I wrote about it, but don't want to hijack your essay with a link.)
It's just visceral. I've stopped having to clench my teeth, which was getting hard on my jaw, but I'm still eye-rolling. 🙄
I'm laughing thinking of you laughing, Mona, and am glad I was able to capture the essence of your principles in a way that felt flattering. If you read through the comments, you'll see that you have quite a few standards-companions here. And you wouldn't be you if you weren't taking stands that challenge the norm.
I assume this is the post you're referring to. (There's a more recent one about how much you loved Ted Lasso where this is linked, so maybe that's the one you meant?) https://constantcommoner.substack.com/p/that-word-that-ugly-awful-stupid
I'm glad to know you're still speaking to me. Maybe I have Roy Kent to thank for that.
Yes, that's the one. I did link it to my thoughts on how much I loved Ted Lasso and even ended up giving Roy Kent a pass, but I can't be the only one who's noticed the escalation of that one word since the devil Trump moved back into the White House. I get it. I really do. But I still keep hoping that some day the fad will be over and some other word in our vast vocabularies will take over.
My mom would agree with your mom one hundred percent. But I remember another friend in the music industry explaining to me patiently that the word can effectively be used as a noun, verb and adjective. And in some European countries folks use it much more commonly in speech than we do. Words definitely have the power to affect us strongly—ESPECIALLY this one. PS Love the family photos.
Thanks, Teresa. And you make an excellent point about how certain cultures are less bothered by certain words. During my daughter's time in Australia, I've heard that modeled firsthand. So, it's both generational and cultural—and powerful, depending on how we choose to use or abuse it.
Appreciate the call out for the family photo. And I have to tell you that I just taught myself how to access the em dash on my keyboard because of the way yours was formatted up there. Wow! 🤩
Any chance you’re Terry O’Connor from SV?
Sorry. No. There are a million O’Connors out there, I’ve learned since my marriage.
Of course I read it! I read all of your pieces.
I think the present administration has done a lot to encourage the use of the f word.
And we have a hummingbird that visits Rob every time he waters our garden. Just something special that makes the day a good thing.
Thanks, Suzanne. I'm really grateful for your steady support here. Can't disagree that my frustration with those causing so much unnecessary, politically motivated anguish is the impetus for some of my swearing. Also noting that there's been some normalizing of really vulgar words, but I think that was happening well before this regime.
We're hummingbird twins!
About 20 years ago, I knew a person who used the f-word the way others use "like" or "you know." A typical sentence: "So I was fuckin taking out the fuckin trash when a fuckin bird fuckin pooped on my fuckin head." I am not exaggerating. He was the sweetest man, almost always smiling, and his mother had been a second grade teacher. It was before the f-word was as ubiquitous as it is now, and our friendship forever changed my relationship to the word.
I hate all the books that have put the word in their titles; it is definitely a signal, and what it says to me is that the book isn't for me. And still, I do use the word sometimes in my own writing. (Just recently, I think.) I swear all the time when talking with friends (and therapists). I have one child who does not hesitate to use profanity around me, and another who apologizes every time such a word slips out. (They swear all the time with friends, but feel it is disrespectful to swear around me.) I'm fine with both approaches. I'm especially fine with women swearing, as I'm opposed to limitations on what we say and how we say it.
I appreciate (as always) your nuanced deep-dive into what it all means, and the threads you connect. I will think of you and your hummingbird the next time I'm refreshing the water in my bird bath for the local squirrels. I love to watch them drinking from it. I'll open any essay from you, no matter what words are in the title, because I know you choose all of your words so thoughtfully and you arrange them so meaningfully.
Oh, this comment made my day, truly. Your friend with the fuckin trash is the perfect illustration of what happens when a word loses all its freight and becomes pure filler—affectionate, harmless, and utterly meaningless as emphasis. And yet, as you say, he was the sweetest man, which maybe tells us something about the word's bark being worse than its bite when it's not aimed at anyone.
I love that you have one child who apologizes and one who doesn't. That's basically the whole essay in a family portrait.
And the squirrels at the bird bath. Exactly that. We can point our attention there. Thank you, Rita.
Well - I am not as old as your parents and am probably contemporaneous with you (more or less). I cannot bring myself to use fuck and have never once felt the need to do so. If I see it used in an article, as is more and more then case, I don't stop reading but I question the thinking of the writer a little more closely than I might otherwise do. You suggest "Look at this fucking hummingbird!" as a valid use of the word - it doesn't make me clutch my pearls but I fail to see its value in that example - what is wrong with amazing, beautiful, spectacular etc?
Surprisingly, maybe, the point was never really the word. It was making sure we're aiming our attention at the right things, including the beautiful ones that don't usually come with headlines. Amazing, beautiful, and spectacular are 100% fine, too!
Thank you for being willing to walk alongside, even when the road got a little unconventional. It means more than you know
Immediately. I read it immediately. I even interrupted my flow while writing my own column for tomorrow. I read for the inspiration. And the honesty.
I remember an early essay by Dave Barry where he averred that every joke is funnier if it has the word "weasel" in it. It works, for a while. Your example is more f-ing durable.
But I'll never forget my typically very proper spouse, showing me her fancy socks, bright blue, which read "Carpe the Fuck out of this Diem." Still makes me smile.
Stew, you interrupted your own column for me? I'm choosing to take that as the highest possible compliment and moving on before you change your mind. Ha!
The Dave Barry weasel theory is perfect (I love him so much) and I wish I'd thought to work it in. Though you're right that weasel has a shorter shelf life. Something about the hard consonants.
And those socks. Those are exactly what this essay was written for, and for projects like Carpe Diem. :)
Hahaha. As you well know, I say it all the time. It's the word that puts something in the highest level of consideration. When I'm in awe: This is so fucking beautiful. When I'm angry: Fuck those fuckers! If there's a more extreme word, I'd like to know it. My feelings are big. It fits. (P.s. I think it's perceived as authenticity because most people know they'll be judged for it. And then they say it anyway. So they MUST mean it. But I have known serial liars who swore a lot, so I'm pretty dubious about the "honesty" part.)
Wendy, 'Fuck those fuckers!' should be the bumper sticker and the t-shirt. Know any artists who could make that happen? 😉
Your footnote on the honesty research is fair; serial liars with a colorful vocabulary are a real data point the academics probably undercounted. The perception of honesty and actual honesty are two very different things.
Thank you for weighing in with your good humor and smarts.
I remember people saying (still saying) that Trump “tells it like it is.” They are definitely conflating perception (his willingness to be offensive) with actual honesty. And haha. I should get on some “fuck those fuckers” art. (It makes me laugh.) And ditto, E. ❤️
Or the one an old friend used to shout: "FARK THE MARTHIES!"
It was utter gibberish, but it sounded great.
Haha! I love fake curses. Did you watch 30 Rock? Tina Fey had a bunch of things like this. It was hilarious.
Many words seem to hold more meaning than fuck, since it is now so often used in ways that don't matter much. I prefer a word that truly has a feel about it which changes, doesn't let people off the hook for simply putting it in to show they are 'hip'
I'm FULL to Overflowing, aren't you?
Jill, yes. Absolutely yes. Full to overflowing and then some. And you've put your finger on exactly what bothers me about the self-help shelf. It's not the word itself, it's using it as a shortcut to seem relatable without doing the harder work of actually saying something true. The word should earn its place or stay home.
I'll take your 'full to overflowing' over most of what's on those book covers any day.
I’m gonna read it anyway, but now I’m laughing. Thanks for the extra bonus! 🤣
(I wrote this when I saw your post link on the Notes wall, not realizing that my comment would end up down here in the post comments section. I’m still planning to read your essay, Elizabeth!)
Don, thank you for the restack; I don't take it lightly. And now that you've made it all the way down here to the comments, I hope the essay delivered on what the title promised you. Laughing is a perfectly acceptable place to start. 😅
Of course I read it. Amused. In your voice(written) both contemplative and thoughtful, curious. There are many more words uttered and implied that are more offensive to me, especially uttered so easily by those in this administration, those words which demean and tear down others...referencing differences in gender, race,identity,religious beliefs. Your obviating "branding" in language choices is so interesting as I hear words uttered so easily and publicly that would never have been so casually...grrr! For me, there is a time and place for F***! My pre-teen grandsons know this...what about the adults?
The word I now
abhor??? "Unprecedented"
Susan, 'what about the adults' is the question of the moment, isn't it? There's a whole category of language far more corrosive than a well-placed expletive, words designed to diminish and divide, that have become casual and public in ways that would have been unthinkable just a short time ago. Your pre-teen grandsons apparently have better judgment than a fair number of people currently running things.
And 'unprecedented.' Yes. Retired. Done. If I never hear it again it will be too soon.
Thank you for being here.
Great essay, as always, Elizabeth. Kept me going from sentence to sentence and never once did I skim. Just thought you’d like to know that lol. 😊
Once in a while, my wife and I will mimic a routine we saw in a movie once (wish I could remember the name of the film):
“I fucking love you.”
“I fucking love you, too.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Don, you are nothing if not thorough. I so appreciate that about you. That exchange between you and your wife might be the most perfect illustration of everything I was trying to say. Tenderness and beauty, at full volume. I hope you never stop saying it to each other. (Google says "The Wolf of Wall Street"?)
Also, never once skimming is the review I'd put on my tombstone, if I had one. ::grin::
My wife of 27 years and I were married after knowing each other seven months. On the first day of our honeymoon she looked at me over a half empty wineglass and said, "we're fucking married!"
We repeat it every now and again!
I feel the total wonder and gratitude in that beautiful moment. Sometimes “fuck” is the only appropriate word. 🙏💚
While I fully respect those who disagree, I think it's unlikely I'll revert to my pre-fuck days at this point. 😅
Right. Fuck that.
That it is, Don. Thank you!
John, that is one of the most romantic sentences I have ever read, and I mean that without a single asterisk. Perfect way to shine a light on something amazing! Thanks for reading and sharing this smile-worthy comment.
And thank you for this lovely reply. I’m smiling from ear to ear.