In this time of transition to who knows where and orwellian double meanings, your writing about raised questions of ordinary and emerging new circumstance feels familiar.
Ordinary seems like the most wonderful place to be. The sublime Ordinariness of mutual consent and cooperation for the benefit of all. Yet, new authoritarians threaten to hold the door any which way they want, your comfort be damned. Not polite at all.
Your poem gets right to the heart of that polite compact. But I confess, I was unsure about the reference to Seymour, Boleyn. So I took a dive... to be reminded of the line between Jane and Anne and how they each navigated Henry's royal whims. They each seem to have been true to their own selves.
I'm a door holder & I like door holders. People are often nonplussed when they're behind me and I, walking with a cane, hold the door for them. When I can without losing balance, holding the door is what I do, on automatic.
I love the spareness of your poem, so fitting in a piece that asks us to think about what we withhold and why, especially in a cold season.
Your question about merging and driving makes me think of drivers in our city. Often, people are so set on being nice that they just make driving harder for all of us. I know other drivers probably regularly think I'm an a-hole because I insist on zipper merging, rather than diving into the long lane way way back like they did. If everyone would just zipper, that other lane wouldn't be so long and slow. I'm not a fan of performative niceness. (I always let one car in when it is their turn to merge.)
I'm thinking also of your question about arbitrariness. Most rules or norms are arbitrary, so I don't think it's arbitrariness that makes any of them bad or wrong. It's just that we want to have some order, so we can be calmer. I'm OK with that.
Yes, I'm a door holder, and I do my best to be courteous on the road in many ways.
Something to also consider when engaging in acts of courtesy and kindness is, what about the other people in my vicinity? Am I inadvertently imposing on someone with my version of courtesy? Am I attempting to control others in order to effect my version of nice? (What about all the cars behind me - on the traffic right-of-way - who are held up because I want to let several cars in front of me rather than more equitably taking turns?)
Situational awareness is one of the foundations of civil behavior and the evolution of ethics. I find myself very (very!) slowly becoming a better person by learning to be aware of those around me, without presuming to know their minds... Being a good human is a lot of work, and well worth it. Thank you for always giving me something to think about and grow from!
In this time of transition to who knows where and orwellian double meanings, your writing about raised questions of ordinary and emerging new circumstance feels familiar.
Ordinary seems like the most wonderful place to be. The sublime Ordinariness of mutual consent and cooperation for the benefit of all. Yet, new authoritarians threaten to hold the door any which way they want, your comfort be damned. Not polite at all.
Your poem gets right to the heart of that polite compact. But I confess, I was unsure about the reference to Seymour, Boleyn. So I took a dive... to be reminded of the line between Jane and Anne and how they each navigated Henry's royal whims. They each seem to have been true to their own selves.
Fascinating, how Ordinary gears shift, keep true.
Please do.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
I'm a door holder.
Washington State me lets at least one car in.
New Jersey me would have gone to the last cone and then laid on the horn.
I'm a door holder & I like door holders. People are often nonplussed when they're behind me and I, walking with a cane, hold the door for them. When I can without losing balance, holding the door is what I do, on automatic.
I love the spareness of your poem, so fitting in a piece that asks us to think about what we withhold and why, especially in a cold season.
Your question about merging and driving makes me think of drivers in our city. Often, people are so set on being nice that they just make driving harder for all of us. I know other drivers probably regularly think I'm an a-hole because I insist on zipper merging, rather than diving into the long lane way way back like they did. If everyone would just zipper, that other lane wouldn't be so long and slow. I'm not a fan of performative niceness. (I always let one car in when it is their turn to merge.)
I'm thinking also of your question about arbitrariness. Most rules or norms are arbitrary, so I don't think it's arbitrariness that makes any of them bad or wrong. It's just that we want to have some order, so we can be calmer. I'm OK with that.
Yes, I'm a door holder, and I do my best to be courteous on the road in many ways.
Something to also consider when engaging in acts of courtesy and kindness is, what about the other people in my vicinity? Am I inadvertently imposing on someone with my version of courtesy? Am I attempting to control others in order to effect my version of nice? (What about all the cars behind me - on the traffic right-of-way - who are held up because I want to let several cars in front of me rather than more equitably taking turns?)
Situational awareness is one of the foundations of civil behavior and the evolution of ethics. I find myself very (very!) slowly becoming a better person by learning to be aware of those around me, without presuming to know their minds... Being a good human is a lot of work, and well worth it. Thank you for always giving me something to think about and grow from!