Ah, life’s a funny thing. I lived in Sydney for the first dozen years of my life and was locked up pretty tight, but after moving to the country things were so much better. I’m still in the country thank goodness. The good life. Take care my dear. Enjoy your family break. 🤗🤗
You're right that location matters, Beth. Where I live, it's less intense, and as a result I think kids have more freedoms. But I often think about the youngsters who grow up in cities and learn to use public transportation on their own.
Of course we have to be cautious when it comes to turning kids out into the world. But I regret that we also feel the need to micro-manage almost all of their activities.
I feel for that mother in Virginia. My urban kid, born in 1971, would hop on his bike and disappear for hours (no helmet). I wouldn’t be so offhand today, but he survived without a scrape.
She has four other children, one of them 14 years old. Not that getting a kid to that age is proof of good parenting, but it might be a clue.
It seems so much of what we experienced as kids has become increasingly restricted and yet statistics suggest our children have never been safer. Hard to know what's best.
In The Netherlands, small children can walk or bicycle by themselves ( many as young as the child in that gated community) , without fear of getting killed. kidnapped,etc. Maybe it’s this country’s obsession of ‘safety’ ,surveillance, and who deserves it is the problem
Chicken or egg, right Melody? I maintain that we see what we expect to see in the world and also that we (and by "we" I mean our media and algorithms) promote what sells. Fear and scarcity are marketable commodities.
Thanks for your comment and for reading, as always.
Years ago I spent a lot of time studying generations mainly because it was a big help in the fact that I had three decades of youth to serve over a period of thirty years. What I discovered in studying the silent generation and the baby boomers and especially the Gen X'ers... Was that we baby boomers mostly grew up poor and often had to walk to school and uptown and ride bikes and do without.... Then we thought it was the best thing to treat our children just the opposite because we never had the privileges, so we worked and make sure our children never had to do those things we had to do.... So according to the data that I researched we really spoiled the Gen X'ers.... It's amazing how we qualify protection when it's probably not even needed at all.....
This is really interesting, Barry, and it makes sense that we'd want them to have a better go of it than we felt we'd had. I'm sure there are other cultural influences in play, too, like numbers of households with two parents and/or two working parents.
I don't have the data to prove it, but I think pendulum swings, generally, are common. I'm not advocating for going back to the days of no seat belts, bike helmets, or toy testing, but it sure would be great if we could move away from the litigiousness we've grown into today.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. Much appreciated!
Thank you, Michael. She is/was impressive. We sold her some years ago because life kept us from spending enough time with her. There 103 of that design built. Most still exist. Ours was #4.
Perhaps the pendulum has swung the way it has because of all the ways in which we aren't protecting kids and mostly won't, because doing so would get in the way of some corporation's profits or violate someone's "parental rights." We sure seem to be short on common sense these days.
On a lighter note, when I was 4 (before kindergarten), my parents regularly let me walk down the side of a fairly busy neighborhood street to visit my friend at the other end of our long block. There were no sidewalks or curbs, so I wandered into the street frequently. They didn't worry about it, though, because our Golden Lab was usually with me, and he would nudge me back to the side of the road. Apparently, I would get perturbed with him for getting in my way. They still laugh about it! I am so glad that my Gen Z kids had a mostly free-range childhood. Easier to do in a rural area.
Love this story, Rita! I can just imagine you toddling along with your trusty dog nearby. Like yours, my kids were fortunate enough to be more or less free range for most of their childhood. Feral, even, if I'm being honest. LOL!
And I don't want to end on a sour note, but gosh yes, the corporate influence on all of us is out of control. Imagine what might happen if the people who are busy suing for spilling hot coffee on themselves turned that energy to fighting that kind of overreach instead?!
I grew up in the golden age of benign neglect (early '80s) and believe to this day that I benefited tremendously. But of course that was a different time, and I was a different person, and while I tried not to hover over/micromanage my own kids, I can't say I always succeeded. We all do our best to protect those we love most, and of course the results and responses vary wildly, but one thing's for sure—the need to protect our loved ones from harm is primal and palpable. Love that story about you and your husband. And yeah, gravity—that bitch.
I don't know where the sweet spot is between benign neglect and helicoptering, and I don't think it's fair to lump together parents who can't let their kids fail with a presidential administration that removes safeguards against risks that individuals can't reasonably assess or protect themselves from. There's a difference between shielding someone from the ordinary consequences of failure and abandoning the systems that protect people from involuntary harm. Clearly I could say a lot more about the latter.
This is great, I read it and listened, too. Nuts in your nut butter? Imagine. Your younger-says story so so resonates. 'I don't want you to hurt yourself" he tells me constantly. "Well, that's not always up to you, is it?" When the seat belt laws went into effect I was a rebellious twenty-something who listened to no one, and thought to myself, "If I want to take that risk and live a more dangerous life, how can the law not allow me to do so?" Well, they figured out how to make sure I was 'safer'. And completely agree with your statement, it is indeed a "fantasy that risk can be eliminated." Always a pleasure to have your share your thoughts. Thank you. ~J
I have no trouble imagining you as a rebellious 20-something, Janice. I'm not one to turn my back on safety measures that feel justified, seat belts among them, but I still think we need equal doses of personal responsibility and common sense in the mix. It's not practical to regulate everything and not possible to take the all the risks out of stubborn or stupid. ☺️
Ah, life’s a funny thing. I lived in Sydney for the first dozen years of my life and was locked up pretty tight, but after moving to the country things were so much better. I’m still in the country thank goodness. The good life. Take care my dear. Enjoy your family break. 🤗🤗
You're right that location matters, Beth. Where I live, it's less intense, and as a result I think kids have more freedoms. But I often think about the youngsters who grow up in cities and learn to use public transportation on their own.
Of course we have to be cautious when it comes to turning kids out into the world. But I regret that we also feel the need to micro-manage almost all of their activities.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Beth.
I feel for that mother in Virginia. My urban kid, born in 1971, would hop on his bike and disappear for hours (no helmet). I wouldn’t be so offhand today, but he survived without a scrape.
She has four other children, one of them 14 years old. Not that getting a kid to that age is proof of good parenting, but it might be a clue.
It seems so much of what we experienced as kids has become increasingly restricted and yet statistics suggest our children have never been safer. Hard to know what's best.
Thanks, Rona. I appreciate the comment.
In The Netherlands, small children can walk or bicycle by themselves ( many as young as the child in that gated community) , without fear of getting killed. kidnapped,etc. Maybe it’s this country’s obsession of ‘safety’ ,surveillance, and who deserves it is the problem
Chicken or egg, right Melody? I maintain that we see what we expect to see in the world and also that we (and by "we" I mean our media and algorithms) promote what sells. Fear and scarcity are marketable commodities.
Thanks for your comment and for reading, as always.
Years ago I spent a lot of time studying generations mainly because it was a big help in the fact that I had three decades of youth to serve over a period of thirty years. What I discovered in studying the silent generation and the baby boomers and especially the Gen X'ers... Was that we baby boomers mostly grew up poor and often had to walk to school and uptown and ride bikes and do without.... Then we thought it was the best thing to treat our children just the opposite because we never had the privileges, so we worked and make sure our children never had to do those things we had to do.... So according to the data that I researched we really spoiled the Gen X'ers.... It's amazing how we qualify protection when it's probably not even needed at all.....
This is really interesting, Barry, and it makes sense that we'd want them to have a better go of it than we felt we'd had. I'm sure there are other cultural influences in play, too, like numbers of households with two parents and/or two working parents.
I don't have the data to prove it, but I think pendulum swings, generally, are common. I'm not advocating for going back to the days of no seat belts, bike helmets, or toy testing, but it sure would be great if we could move away from the litigiousness we've grown into today.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. Much appreciated!
You stuck the landing, in more ways than one.
Ha!! Is that a metaphor of some sort, John? 😅 Thanks for stopping by.
Lucky guess.
Nice! And such a lovely boat!
Thank you, Michael. She is/was impressive. We sold her some years ago because life kept us from spending enough time with her. There 103 of that design built. Most still exist. Ours was #4.
https://www.concordiaboats.com/yawls
Perhaps the pendulum has swung the way it has because of all the ways in which we aren't protecting kids and mostly won't, because doing so would get in the way of some corporation's profits or violate someone's "parental rights." We sure seem to be short on common sense these days.
On a lighter note, when I was 4 (before kindergarten), my parents regularly let me walk down the side of a fairly busy neighborhood street to visit my friend at the other end of our long block. There were no sidewalks or curbs, so I wandered into the street frequently. They didn't worry about it, though, because our Golden Lab was usually with me, and he would nudge me back to the side of the road. Apparently, I would get perturbed with him for getting in my way. They still laugh about it! I am so glad that my Gen Z kids had a mostly free-range childhood. Easier to do in a rural area.
Love this story, Rita! I can just imagine you toddling along with your trusty dog nearby. Like yours, my kids were fortunate enough to be more or less free range for most of their childhood. Feral, even, if I'm being honest. LOL!
And I don't want to end on a sour note, but gosh yes, the corporate influence on all of us is out of control. Imagine what might happen if the people who are busy suing for spilling hot coffee on themselves turned that energy to fighting that kind of overreach instead?!
Hope you and yours are well, my friend.
I hope you and yours are, too 💕
Arse over teakettle! Ha!
And as for woke ssytems, helicoptering and overzealous regulation, its why I ride my occasional bike without a helmet on the bike track. Bah humbug.
I love that expression, Prue, along with a handful of British-born others.
My mother was imperfect, but she swore by an "everything in moderation" mantra. I always felt it made good sense.
Thanks for reading. I hope you are recovering well and feeling stronger day by day!
I’ve been married to a protector/ preventer for 37 years. I call it The Nice Man’s Vice
Ha! That's a great way to frame it, Elizabeth. Please tell me his name isn't Jim. 😅
I grew up in the golden age of benign neglect (early '80s) and believe to this day that I benefited tremendously. But of course that was a different time, and I was a different person, and while I tried not to hover over/micromanage my own kids, I can't say I always succeeded. We all do our best to protect those we love most, and of course the results and responses vary wildly, but one thing's for sure—the need to protect our loved ones from harm is primal and palpable. Love that story about you and your husband. And yeah, gravity—that bitch.
*snort*! Your last sentence.
I don't know where the sweet spot is between benign neglect and helicoptering, and I don't think it's fair to lump together parents who can't let their kids fail with a presidential administration that removes safeguards against risks that individuals can't reasonably assess or protect themselves from. There's a difference between shielding someone from the ordinary consequences of failure and abandoning the systems that protect people from involuntary harm. Clearly I could say a lot more about the latter.
Thanks, Irena, for swinging through. :)
This is great, I read it and listened, too. Nuts in your nut butter? Imagine. Your younger-says story so so resonates. 'I don't want you to hurt yourself" he tells me constantly. "Well, that's not always up to you, is it?" When the seat belt laws went into effect I was a rebellious twenty-something who listened to no one, and thought to myself, "If I want to take that risk and live a more dangerous life, how can the law not allow me to do so?" Well, they figured out how to make sure I was 'safer'. And completely agree with your statement, it is indeed a "fantasy that risk can be eliminated." Always a pleasure to have your share your thoughts. Thank you. ~J
I have no trouble imagining you as a rebellious 20-something, Janice. I'm not one to turn my back on safety measures that feel justified, seat belts among them, but I still think we need equal doses of personal responsibility and common sense in the mix. It's not practical to regulate everything and not possible to take the all the risks out of stubborn or stupid. ☺️
Thanks for weighing in, my renegade friend!